So a few days ago on a popular Facebook page for mums I saw someone post about giving up making the effort to reach out to people because it's not reciprocated. So many other people commented on it saying they did the same thing and just stopped texting people or checking in on friends to “test” who are their “real” friends. Does this make no sense to anyone else? Doesn’t that actually say more about you than them?
I am not usually one to comment on things, and I didn’t on that particular post, but it made me think, how many other people feel that way? How many bridges do people burn just by being self-centered? It’s probably those same people who also post that they can’t keep any friends and are looking to connect with people. I’m sorry, but it’s true.
Wouldn’t your life be much more fulfilling knowing that you are the one that cares and reaches out to people even when not always reciprocated? Does it matter that you always text first? Do you know every detail of someone’s life so intricately that you have the power to decide whether they have the time or mental space to text first?
Why can’t we be content being the kind friend? It was absolutely mind boggling to me to read and then to read hundreds of comments agreeing and ready to just light a match and watch it burn!
MY TAKE:
Here’s my take, yes it is always nice to receive the text or message first, to be checked in on, to be thought about. But in so many cases it isn’t because you’re not thought of or loved or cared for, it is simply that life keeps moving a hundred miles a second and sometimes the thought just doesn’t come. Especially mums, don’t we know that? Don’t we know that there is every possibility that you are interrupted the second a message comes in and don’t reply? There are people in my life I remember to text because they are in the same season of life as me, for example, “is your 4 year old a nightmare to put to bed?” haha. Then other friends I message once in a while and then others are the ones who message me first. Life is short, life is give and take and your worth isn’t judged by who texted first. Who do we think we are saying we have the right to judge someone’s worth based on whether or not they text first. There are so many times I have forgotten to respond, or I check my phone then my kid poops or needs a snack or fell off a bike. It’s not intentional but my brain just doesn’t remember sometimes that I have an opened message!
I think it is a sentiment to your character that you are the one messaging someone first to check in. It is a trait to be proud of and continue doing throughout your life. Being reliable, thoughtful and loyal are not traits I would consider needed evaluation.
While I understand that it can be a little disheartening when no one thinks of messaging you, or doesn’t respond asking how you are as well, but is that the reason that you messaged them? Perhaps they are going through something you don’t know about and didn’t think of checking on you, because right now they needed to be checked on. You can’t know and therefore I don’t think you can judge or “test”.
Maybe, instead of “judging” and “testing” friendships, we simply pray for them or forgive them? Could you imagine if Jesus gave up on us so quickly and burnt our bridges after every wrongdoing?
Anyway, that’s my take. Comment your thoughts! Would love to hear them.
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