Almost 4 years ago, on the 14th of July 2016, my beautiful baby boy entered this world. He was born 3 days before his due date. I was induced in my local public hospital (Lismore Base) 4 days prior due to having Cholestasis. I had a student midwife who was with me the whole way.
On the lead up to to my birth, I didn't do a lot in regards to birth preparation. I was young and very naive. Same with my "birth plan", if you would even call it that. I just wanted this baby out. The only thing that went "to plan" with my so called birth plan, was the delayed cord clamping.
My induction took a long time to work with my body (About 6 hours). And after 23 hours of a lot of pain but failure to dilate (with the help of gas and an epidural) I was rushed into theatre for an emergency cesarean. This was super disappointing for me, as I hoped to experience the sensation of a vaginal birth. I felt my baby had been handed to me, like he was someone else's baby and I didn't do any hard work.
My healing was horrible. I was bed-ridden for almost 4 weeks because I was so sore. My advice for healing: endone! Haha joking. Support is so crucial. Remember to ask for help and asking doesn't mean you are failing, because learning how to be a parent is so hard, in all aspects. Having some physical, mental and emotional help is so so important. To be the best parent you can be, you have to feel great and look after you! Remembering this helped me to remind myself that whatever I thought I did wrong as a mum, my child didn't think this.
After adjusting to this new life as a first time mother with post natal depression, my biggest word of advice that I loved, and love to remind other mothers (to be) is:
"You may feel like you fail all the time as a mum. But your baby doesn't see you as a failure. He sees his mum, the light of his life."
3 years later (almost 11 months ago), July 25th, my beautiful baby girl was born, which was a very different experience. This time around a had a set birth plan - to birth this baby vaginally (VBAC). She was born in the same hospital as my son, 8 days overdue.
Experiencing pre-labour symptoms was very new to me as I didn't experience this with my first child. So I was in denial. When my contractions were 10 minutes apart we arrived at the hospital for my contractions to then be 3 minutes apart.
Four hours after arriving at the hospital, my contractions completely stopped. I ended up going home (devastated). We went for walks as much as we could. Contractions came back later that afternoon and after about 15 hours of intense contractions, I had only dilated 1.5cm. My cervix was posterior and was very slowly moving. I was later induced with no further movement. After an epidural things started moving along quickly. After pushing for over 2 hours with no success, the decision was made to again be rushed into theatre for an episiotomy with the potential plan of another emergency c-section.
My beautiful 9 pound baby girl was delivered via VBAC, with an episiotomy and forceps. Although I birthed my beautiful baby how i wanted, as a VBAC, again I didn't feel like I did myself and the mum guilt came over me again. I had to keep telling myself that I actually did do it!
I ended up getting an infection in my would within the first week. But was great soon after antibiotics.
What I did Pre-Labour
I booked in regular stretch and sweeps (which did not work for me and only hurt me physically and mentally), raspberry leaf capsules, primrose oil tablets (inserted vaginally), walks, sex (as much as It made me cringe at that point) and pregnancy acupuncture (which put me into labour...or maybe it was just chance).
My personal advice
I was told to pour witches hazel liquid onto a pad and freeze it then pop it in my undies. Oh lord she was so cold and soothing!
Another word of advice, 'no matter how, your baby will come into this world. They will be born one way or another. So don't put pressure on yourself. Your birth may not go to "plan" but as soon as your beautiful baby is in your arms, how they came to you wont matter. So be kind to yourself mumma".
As for the hospital, yes my births weren't great, but the staff were. But If I were to plan have another baby, I would probably go to a private obstetrician in the same hospital. I would love to try another vaginal birth without extra help.
Stevie
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