It is not exactly how I pictured the first few weeks of your life little one! I anticipated the sleepless nights, but was not mentally prepared. I knew there would be pukes, and poops and crying. But the first few weeks of your life, and the couple of months preceding it was nothing how I pictured.
The story of your infancy has a pandemic sized parentheses beside it (your life began in quarantine).
Being pregnant during Covid 19 was a challenge, particularly as a first time mum. I had to attend appointments alone, remember everything I was told by midwives and obstetricians alone and give birth with one support person. While this turned out okay given how extremely chaotic those first days are, it is tough being the only support person as well.
There was no opportunity for a baby shower to celebrate your pending arrival with all my friends and family. It had to be cancelled, along with many events during March and April.
I enjoy the peaceful mornings with you, the cute smiles and newborn snuggles. Yet, my mind drifts constantly to the loved ones whose arms are empty miles and miles away. You would have been surrounded by so much more love had there not been a pandemic. Relatives would have been able to fly in from America and grandparents would have got cuddles way before your 6 week immunizations.
It was a crazy time in history for you to be born, a unique story just for you.
These four walls that we live in act as your cocoon, shielding you from the uncertainty that is out there each day. There are riots in the streets after a terrible police incident, there are protests in many cities about which lives matter, there are mask wearing people practicing social distancing, there are flights being cancelled and businesses going under, but we sit here quietly (and at times not so quietly) in our bubble. It is unbelievable to think that we must try to raise you in a peaceful setting, yet make sure you always have a voice. I hope that one day you will be heard but not loud, that you be opinionated but educated and that you be merciful but not weak.
Each day now I yearn for the world to go back to a sense of normalcy, even if that normalcy is different to what it was before. I pray for borders to open so that you can know the touch of the rest of your family that live miles away. But I know that you are surrounded by thoughts, love and prayer each day here. We are taking the days as they come and just enjoying the quiet time we have with you while you are still this little. Despite quarantine, you have been surrounded by love and showered in gifts and we are grateful to have such a community around us.
Everything and nothing has changed. Raising you in quarantine it feels like nothing is changing, we still can't travel, we are still questioned on Covid, yet at the same time everything is changing, you are changing. You won't know the world before this pandemic and that is crazy to me.
Among all this, you are the light - little one - and that is keeping us going.
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